The Mabinogian; books 9 to 11

The Lady of the Fountain

The Prologue

King Arthur and his cronies were faffing around at Caer Llion on Usk one day, when Arthur got his head down for a snooze, Cei ap Cynyr grabbed some booze and nosh from the kitchens, and Cynon ap Clydno told everyone a story...

Cynon's Tale

Having been a precocious over-achieving only child he had once gone on a quest to find anybody who could beat him at anything, eventually finding a wonderful castle in a fair vale filled with yellow-garbed, generous, lovely people who gave him supper and afterwards told him where to go. As per their directions he rode into a nearby wood filled with wild beasts, and in it a clearing containing a mound, and upon the mound the forest keeper: a huge black man with one eye, one leg and a big iron club.

After demonstrating his power over his beasts the forest keeper told Cynon where to find The Black Knight. He directed him along a path through a vale to a great tree, and below it a fountain, and as so told he took the silver bowl there on its chain and sprinkled some water on the marble slab. There was a peal of thunder, and a hailstorm that nearly killed him and his horse, then the weather cleared and the birds sang. Then a "panting" (?) came along, compaining that the hailstorm Cynon had caused had killed every man and beast in its dominions that was not sheltered. And then The Black Knight appeared, and Cynon sallied forth against him, and was beaten with humiliating ease, and his horse taken away.

He walked back to the clearing of the black man, who didst mightily take the piss, and then back to the hospitable castle, where his hosts diplomatically avoided the issue, fed him, and in the morning gave him a new horse.

Owein and The Black Knight

Cynon finished his tale and pointed out that he still had the palfrey, although Owein ap Urien expressed scepticism. Before a fight started Arthur woke up and they all had tea, but afterwards Owein saddled up and set forth himself in search of Castle Mellow-Yellow.

In spite of the lack of directions he found it sure enough, and in a major deja-vu experience re-lived all that had befallen Cynon, finally coming to blows with The Black Knight, but he did better than Cynon and stabbed him through the brain. Owein persued the mortally-wounded fleeing knight into a great city, but on entering the two portcullis gates were dropped, bisecting his horse and trapping him.

Before the guards came for him he succeeded in chatting up some passing local colour (yellow) who gave him a ring and a stone that made him invisible. Thus he escaped the guards and followed Luned (as she was called) back to her severely over-gilded boudoir, where she fed him and put him to bed. At midnight he was woken by a keening, and looking outside saw the whole city at the torch-lit funeral of their slain lord, including The Black Knight's widow, The Lady of the Fountain, with whom he fell instantly in love. Luned pointed out that the widow was unlikely to feel the same way about him, after which she washed, shaved and fed him, and put him to bed again while she generously went off to do some unlikely matchmaking.

Luned failed to properly acknowledge her mistress' grief and they nearly fell out, but the widow finally accepted that she desperately needed a man about the castle who could guard her fountain, and hence her lands, and that only one of Arthur's court was up to the job. So Luned pretended to go thence, while secretly staying shacked up with Owein, until eventually presenting him to the widow as a recent arrival. Unfortunately the lady was not fooled, instantly marking Owein as her husband's killer, and had to think about it.

After consulting her people she married Owein, and the people loved him, and he became the new lord and guardian.

Arthur Follows

Three years later back in Caer Llion Arthur began to miss his old friend, and set off after him with an army of three thousand (not counting camp followers) guided by Cynon. Once again they stayed at the castle where yellow never went out of fashion, met the forest keeper, came to the fountain, and Cei volunteered to sprinkle the water on the slab, killing several of Arthur's retinue with the resultant hail storm. Again a black knight appeared and challenged Cei, and threw him, and did it again the next day, and then every other man in Arthur's court except for Arthur and Gwalchmei. Then Gwalchmei challenged the black night and they fought all day, until Gwalchmei's helm was dislodged and Owein (for it was he) recognised his cousin, then vice versa, then they got pathetically apologetic and each claimed to have surrendered first.

After kissing and making up Owein took them all back to his place for the feast he had been preparing for three years, and after a record three-month piss-up he persuaded the reluctant Lady of the Fountain to allow him to go back to Britain with the lads for three months. But once home, he stayed.

Owein's Shame

Three years later a yellow-garbed maiden appeared at Caer Llion, berated Owein and took back his wedding ring, after which he went mad and wandered the desolate places as a hairy naked wildman. He lived with beasts until he became weak, then one day he was delirious by a park lake when the local countess (another one) turned up with her handmaidens, and sent one of them over to him with some clothes and £140 worth of apres-sun. She told him how her mistress' lord had died leaving her with two earldoms, but now only had one castle left, the rest being taken by the young neighbouring earl who she wouldn't shag. Then they took him home and washed him until his hair fell out and he was lovely again.

After three months the neighbouring earl surrounded her castle intent on rape and pillage, but Owein took a black horse and arms, rode into the earl's huge yellow camp like Arnold Swarzennegar, mugged him, and took him back to the countess. They then ransomed him back for the countess' two earldom's, all her stolen treasures, half his own lands, and sureties. Whatever they might have been.

The countess asked him to stay, but instead he rode off into the wilderness. Wadda guy !

Owein and the Lion

One day he rescued a lion from a huge serpent and it became his friend, catching game and collecting firewood. That night he discovered he had camped next to the "vessel of stone" in which Luned (remember her) had been imprisoned by two of Fountain Woman's chamberlains, who by shear coincidence were due in two days to kill her for defending the absconded Owein. So he fed her some chops, and the next day left her and went off to another castle that she recommended.

A Hostage Situation

At the castle everyone was hospitable but depressed. While Owein fed his lion under the table the earl explained that a monstrous big man up in the mountains had captured his two sons whilst out hunting, and he would kill them tomorrow unless he handed over his daughter for ravishment, and he had decided not to give in.

When the big man arrived the next day Owein fought him but was unable to prevent the lion from helping him and it ripped out his big guts. The sons were freed, but Owein had to rush off to save Luned.

He found her about to be incinerated by the two youths, and he challenged them, and was in sore straights, but was again unable to prevent his feline friend from helping, and they were slain. He then returned with Luned to The Lady of the Fountain, and took her home to Arthur, and settled down...

Owein and The Black Oppressor

...When he wasn't off questing. Once he and his lion found a castle filled with two dozen gorgeous, pouting widows and the corpses of their husbands, all victims of The Black Oppressor. Although he seemed friendly enough when they met outside Owein vanquished him anyway but spared his life when he promised to turn his castle into a hospital. Then the lion padded off and Owein took the crumpet back to Arthur's place.

The Happy Ending

And Owein was the captain of Arthur's warband until he found his own place: The Three Hundred Swords of Cenferchyn and The Flight of Ravens.

And they all lived happily ever after. Until Camlan.

Peredur ap Efrawg

The Early Adventures of Peredur

Young Peredur

Northern Earl Efrawg made a living from violent affray, and ended up dead with six of his sons. His widow fled into the wilderness taking with her only women, children and wimps, and the youngest seventh son Peredur, where she set up a peace camp.

One day Peredur mistook two hinds for hornless goats and rounded them up on foot by dint of his natural speed and strength.

Later he saw three knights passing by, and his mother told him they were angels. He went to investigate anyway, and met Gwalchmei ap Gwyar, Gweir ap Gwestyl and Owein ap Urien in persuit of "the knight who had distributed apples in Arthur's court" (?). In return for describing to him every feature of their equipment he told them where he had seen the fugitive fruit merchant, and vowed to join them.

He rushed back to tell his mum, and she fainted. With her out of the way he assembled a naf knight kit using old tat from the stable, and was just leaving on an old nag when she came round and offered him the following mixed advice.

Head for Arthur's court
Attend church
Take any meat and drink you desire whether it is on offer or not
Head towards any outcry, especially female
Re-distribute all wealth randomly to become famous
Ravish all attractive women whether they want it or not

The Proud One of the Clearing

Peredur set off alone into the wilderness on his nag, and after two days found a pavilion in a forest clearing which he mistook for a church. Inside he took half the meat and drink he saw on the table and a gold ring from the maiden sitting nearby, but forgot instruction #6. Then he went on seeking Arthur's court. When The Proud One of the Clearing returned he was somewhat annoyed and set off in persuit.

Arthur's Court

Meanwhile, chez Arthur, a mysterious knight had entered the court, taken Gwenhwyfar's golden goblet, poured wine all down her tits, given her a slapping, then told the court "Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough" before riding off with the goblet to wait outside. Arthur's knights were all too intimidated, but then Peredur arrived looking like the village idiot so they all cheered themselves up by taking the piss out of him. Then a dwarven couple who had been in the court for a year without speaking a word broke their silence and addressed Peredur by name as if he were a great knight. Cei was so irritated by this he gave them both a good kicking and mischievously told Peredur to go and take the goblet and gear off the knight in the meadow, and then he would be knighted himself. And Peredur set forth.

He slew the nasty knight with ease and a spear in the eye, and dragging the body back to court met a concerned Owein, who helped him strip the body. He armed himself as a knight, and swore fealty to Arthur but swore never to enter his court until he had met "the tall man" dwarf basher (Cei). Then he went on his way alone.

Walkabout

He soon met a reiver who harried Arthur's lands, and upon defeating him spared his life on condition that he go to Arthur's court and tell who had defeated him, and repeat the threat to Cei. Then he rode on and overthrew another sixteen naughty knights the same week, and all were bound to tell their story at Arthur's court, after which Cei was getting worried.

Uncle #1

At last Peredur came to a great court beyond a lake by a great desolate forest, and from the shore followed a hoary-headed old man inside where he was made welcome. They watched two youths playing with sticks and shields, and at his host's suggestion Peredur played against the blonde one, battering him until his eyebrow was over his eye and the blood didst verily spurt. His host told him he would be the best sword-smiter in the kingdom, and then revealed himself to be his uncle and promised to train him properly as an ordained knight, if he forgot his mother's odd advice. He also advised him never to remark on anything odd if his hosts didn't, and that if this caused trouble it was not his fault, but his teacher's.

Uncle #2

The next day with his uncle's leave Peredur set forth again, finding another great court, this time beyond a meadow by a great forest. Another hoary-headed man made him welcome, and after tea invited him to hack at an iron pillar with a sword, breaking both into two pieces three times, after which they would not re-assemble. His host then announced that Peredur was the best sword-smiter in the kingdom and had now come by two-thirds of his strength, and also that he himself was brother to Peredur's mother and another uncle.

As they were chatting two youths entered the hall bearing a great spear streaming blood, followed a little after by two maidens bearing a bloody severed head on a platter, whilst all present wailed loudly except the uncle, who chatted on obliviously, and Peredur, who remembered the previous uncle's advice. Then they all went to bed.

Family Business

The next day he went on his way again and came to a forest where he found his shrieking foster-sister trying to perch her recently slain husband on a horse, and she explained that Peredur's mum had died of grief when he left home and that the dwarves in Arthur's court belonged to his parents. He shrugged off the guilt-trip, buried her hubby and vanquished the knight who had made her a widow, forcing him to marry her to cheer her up and deliver the customary message to Arthur.

By now Cei had not stepped outside for weeks, and Arthur was regretting the absence of so excellent a knight as Peredur, and so he set off to look for him with his warband, dragging along a reluctant Cei.

Business as Usual

Meanwhile Peredur had stumbled across yet another castle, this one overgrown in a thick forest and occupied by five maidens and nineteen youths, who tried to persuade their nubile foster-sister to shag Peredur in order to gain his help against the earl who had taken all their lands after the death of their father and was coming tomorrow to take the castle now that the local nunnery had run out of food and drink to smuggle in.

Peredur virtuously kept it in his pants and the next morning rode forth to the enemy camp where he out-jousted the captain of the earl's war-band, taking him prisoner and forcing him to give back his third of the taken lands. The next day he did the same to the court steward, and then finally to the earl himself. He hung around for three weeks then set forth on his wanderings once more.

The Return of The Proud One of the Clearing

One day Peredur met the lady from the pavillion he taken the ring from on his way to Arthur's court, now branded a slag by her uptight hubby and reduced to riding lean, sweaty horses. Then The Proud One himself turned up, and Peredur vanquished him and made him kiss and make up; then he went on his way.

The Witches of Caer Loyw

One day he wandered up a mountain and into a castle where his hostess explained that the nine witches of Caer Loyw and their parents were ravaging the countryside, and that her castle was next. The following morning a half-dressed Peredur did indeed flatten the helmet of a witch who was harassing the watchman, and she told him it was foreseen that he would spare her life if she gave him three weeks intensive battle training and upgraded his kit, so they set off for the Witches' Court, and afterwards off he went again.

Cei's Come-uppance

At the end of the day Peredur shared the cell of a hermit, and overnight it snowed. Early next morning he drifted off into a reverie of sexual frustration inspired by the sight of a raven scavenging a dead duck in the snow, when he was rudely interrupted by Arthur's squire and he beat him up, followed by the next 24 reverie-interrupting knights. Then the long-awaited Cei had a go and Peredur broke his arm and shoulder before riding his horse over him 21 times. That's gotta hurt !

Arthur's retinue retrieved the severely mangled Cei and carried him back to Arthur's tent for surgery, and Gwalchmei promised to bring in the still-unidentified long-speared knight peacefully, despite Cei's bitchy provocation. After a short, intense male-bonding session Gwalchmei and Peredur became special friends, swapped clothes and turned up at Arthur's tent holding hands. Then everybody went home to Caer Llion.

Peredur Plights His Troth

On his very first night in Arthur's court Peredur managed to fall totally in love with Angharad Golden-hand. She told him to piss off, so he swore never to speak to another Christian until she said she loved him, and rode off again (taking the high road).

The Valley of the Pagans

After crossing a nearby mountain Peredur found a village of black houses within a clearing within a forest within a round valley, guarded by a lion on a chain, which he killed. He met the giant grey-headed chief pagan and promptly chatted-up his daughter, who explained that on the morrow the giant's vassals would slay him.

The next morning she tried to persuade the chief to let Peredur live if he swore to keep their existance secret, but he wanted the knight dead, and would not change his mind until two thirds of his host and both his sons were slain. Peredur spared him on condition that they all swore fealty to Arthur and converted to Christianty, then he went on his way.

The Dumb Knight

With no more pagans to talk to Peredur was forced to wander the land mute, because of his oath to Angharad. He heard about a serpent lying upon a ring of gold, so he slew it and took the ring. After months of speechlessness and sexual frustration he was unrecogniseable, and on his return to Caer Llion was peevishly stabbed in the thigh by Cei for not answering back, but Gwalchmei paid Gwenhwyfar to fix him up.

Whilst still incognito he bested a challenger to Arthur's court, and was dubbed The Dumb Knight. Turned on by his proficiency at violence, Angharad said she loved him, he revealed who he really was, everybody was friends again, and he settled down at court for a while.

Peredur and the Empress of Constantinople

The Black Oppressor MkII

One day Peredur was out stag-hunting with Arthur around Caer Llion on Usk when he got lost, and ended up the guest of a huge one-eyed black man who, his family explained, killed all his guests. In the morning Peredur conquered his host in borrowed armour and spared his life for as long as it took him to tell the story of how he lost his eye: he was The Black Oppressor (a different one to Owein's, presumably, or the same one after giving up medicine) and had been seeking a magical stone that conjured up gold, hidden in the tail of a Worm in a barrow in the Dolorous Mound, and the way to the mound was via the court of the Sons of the King of Suffering, the court of the Lady of the Feats, and the 300 pavillions guarding the mound itself. Then Peredur killed him and set off, worm-bound.

The Court of the Sons of the King of Suffering

Here Peredur was made welcome by an entirely female court, and then saw three dead men carried into the court by their horses, each to be restored to life by a woman using a warm bath and ointment. They explained that they had been slain by an Addanc (?) in a cave, and that it was the same every day.

The next morning they refused his help, saying he could not be made alive again when slain, but he followed them anyway, and on the way met a mysterious fair woman on a mound. She explained that the Addanc cast a poisoned stone-spear from concealment within a stone pillar in the entrance to the cave, and that she would give him a magic stone that would make him invisible to the Addanc and reveal the creature to him, on condition that he pledged to love her best of women. Instantly in love, Peredur agreed (forgetting Angharad already), and the woman told him to come looking for her in the direction of India, and then vanished.

Peredur carried on after the three sons through a valley of sheep, black on one side of the river, white on the other, and whenever one crossed the river summoned by a bleat it would change colour. And on the bank of the river was a tree burning down one whole side but verdant on the other. And beyond that a mound, beneath a princely huntsman, and behind him three paths. The man told him one path went to his own court, one to town, and the narrow one to the Addanc's cave, which Peredur took.

At the cave he took his magic stone in his hand and killed the Addanc, presenting its head to the three sons. Then he rode off to the second stage of his quest.

The Lady of the Feats

As Peredur went on his way he was accosted by Edlym Red-Sword, an earl from the East, who dressed all in red and wanted to be Peredur's man, so together they arrived at the countess's court.

There Peredur won the right to sit at her side by besting all 300 of her men, and she casually mentioned in passing that her one true love was her long lost Edlym. Peredur handed him over to her for a quick shag, and the morning he and Edlym carried on towards...

The Dolorous Mound

Through Edlym, Peredur offered the pavillions around the mound the choice of homage to him or combat; they chose the latter. He threw a hundred of them, then another hundred, and the third started homaging and explained that they were guarding the worm until it was dead.

Peredur slew the worm, took the stone, paid off the mound-guarders, then gave the stone to Edlym and sent him back to his countess. Then he went on his way. Wadda guy !

The Great Tourney

Peredur came to a valley filled with coloured pavillions and watermills and windmills, where he quickly made pals with the head miller and went back with him for tea. He explained that the mills were for grinding flour to feed the thousands of knights who were after the Empress of Constanople, who was seeking a husband.

The next morning Peredur went to the tourney and saw the empress, and it was the very woman who gave him the stone with which he had confounded the Addanc. So smitten was he that he just stood staring at her gormlessly all day, and the next day too, but on the third the miller hit him with an axe handle, and he woke up, sallied forth, and threw loads of tourney-goers, sending the men to the empress and their kit to the miller's wife in lieu of rent.

Impressed, the empress sent messengers to The Knight of the Mill (Peredur), which he ignored, then a hundred knights, which he roebuck-tied and threw in the mill-dyke, then finally a wise man, which did the trick. He visited her that day and the next, when three men came seeking her hand, a black man with a goblet of gold, a bigger black man with a goblet fashioned from a beast's claw, and an even bigger red curly-headed man with one of crystal. Peredur drank the lot, and the next morning met them on the meadow and slew all three.

The countess reminded him of the pledge he had made on the way to the Addanc, and Peredur kept his word and ruled with her for fourteen years. As the story tells.

Peredur and the Black Maiden

The Black Maiden

One day Arthur was at Caer Llion on Usk with Owein ap Urien, Gwalchmei ap Gwyar, Hywel ap Emyr Llydaw and Peredur Longspear (either before, during or most likely after his stint as Emperor of Constantinople) when a hideously ugly black maiden rode in on a yellow mule: a real two bagger. She berated Peredur for having made no comment (because he had been told not to by his first uncle) in the court of his second uncle when he saw the bleeding spear, and said that because of this his second uncle was now The Lame King, and his kingdom in a mess.

She then mentioned to Arthur that she was from Proud Castle, where she lived with 566 knights and their ladies, and incidentally she also knew of a maiden besieged in another castle up a mountain, in case anyone was feeling heroic. Then she left.

As many of the court were preparing to set off and do some good, a blue knight arrived and accused Gwalchmei of having slain his lord by deceit and treachery, and demanded satisfaction in the presence of his (current) king. Gwalchmei accepted and set off to follow him back, with his pal Peredur following at a distance, though they seem to have become separated quickly.

Gwalchmei's Incomplete Adventure

Gwalchmei soon found himself outside a great court where the apparently friendly earl gave him a ring as a token to get past the porter, and told him to go to his sister up the tower while he himself finished hunting. He was chilling out with her in front of a smokeless fuel fire when another man, handsome and hoary-headed, burst in and told her she was a vile whore for consorting with Gwalchmei, and left. When Gwalchmei looked out he saw another sixty coming, fully armed, and fought them off with a gwyddbwyll board until the earl returned from his hunt. The hoary-headed man accused Gwalchmei of having slain the earl's father, but Gwalchmei said he was now on a quest for Arthur and would return in a year to admit or deny it. The respite was granted, and on the morrow Gwalchmei set forth again, and under that head the story says no more.

Peredur in Gaol

Meanwhile, Peredur wandered The Island (Britain) seeking The Black Maiden, and after a year ended up lost in a forest in a castle with a priest, who after four days directed him to a nearby court where he might learn of The Castle of Wonders (presumably not the same castle as that of his second uncle where he saw some wonders as a callow youth).

There he was made a little too welcome by the chieftain's daughter, who, when he returned from hunting, had him thrown in gaol. But the daughter moved in with him, and in the morning sneaked him out and into some armour to kill a few of the men of an earl who had arrived to pester her old man. For three days in this disguise he slew the enemies of the very king who was imprisoning him, secretly returning to his cell each night.

On the fourth day he slew the earl himself, and when the chieftain learned the identity of his mysterious best knight he had a change of heart and offered Peredur the dead earl's dominions and his daughter. But Peredur sought only The Castle of Wonders, and they directed him thence.

The Castle of Wonders

Over a mountain and within a lake he found it, and within the castle a magical game of gwyddbwyll playing itself. Unfortunately the side he picked to win lost, and the winning pieces got so loud and cocky that he lost his temper and threw the board in the lake.

Then Miss Ugly turned up and gave him a severe tongue-lashing, and told him that in order to retrieve the empress's board he should forget the obvious approach of looking in the lake, and instead slay the black man who was laying waste the empress's dominion. She guided him to The Castle of Ysbidinongyl where he vanquished the black man, but let him live if he would return (?) the board to its proper place. When Two-Bagger told him it was still missing and berated him for leaving the man alive, he returned and killed him after all.

Back at the court the black maiden now told him that he could not see the empress until he slew the huge unicorn-stag-thing that was ruining a nearby forest, and sent him thence, guided by the empress's lapdog.

So Peredur slew the beast, and a lady appeared on horseback, picked up the dog and the beast's severed head, and berated Peredur for having killed "the fairest jewel in her dominion". She then conned him into yet another task as compensation.

This time he travelled to a stone slab under a bush on a nearby mountain and asked for a man to joust three times. The slab rose up and a black man came out in rusty armour upon a bony horse, and they fought. Every time Peredur dislodged the man he would leap back into the saddle, until Peredur dismounted and drew his sword, at which the man vanished, taking Peredur's horse with him.

The Lame King

Peredur walked further along the mountain to a castle (possibly the same one in which he had originally found his second uncle, unless his uncle had moved castle) in a river valley, and within it he found a lame grey-headed man, and sitting by him Gwalchmei, and in the stalls his own horse again next to Gwalchmei's. The Lame King (his second uncle) bid him welcome, and to sit by his side.

Then a yellow-headed youth besought Peredur's friendship, with the astonishing claim to have met him on several previous occasions, long ago in the court of his second uncle (The Lame King, the youth's own father, in possibly this very same castle), where he had born in the bleeding spear and the severed head (disguised as one of the two maidens, presumably), and several times more recently in drag as the ugly black woman !

He further explained that the severed head had been his cousin's, and that it was the witches of Caer Loyw had slain him, and lamed his uncle, and that it was prophesied Peredur would avenge them.

Together Gwalchmei and Peredur returned to Caer Llion to raise Arthur and his war-band, and they attacked the witches. One witch slew three of Arthur's men in spite of Peredur asking her not to, so he hacked her head in two. She shouted at the other witches that this was the same Peredur whom they had themselves trained and was prophesied to kill them.

Then Arthur and his war-band slew the lot of them.

The End.

Gereint ap Erbin

Gereint Meets Enid

Arthur held court at Caer Llion because of its accessibilty by land and sea, and held Mass at thirteen churches, with his queen Gwenhwyfar, his officers (including Odiar the Frank) and the captains of his warbands (including Gwalchmei). Glewlwyd Mighty-grasp was his head porter, and his underlings were Gryn, Penpinghon, Llaesgymyn, Gogyfwlch, Gwrddnei Cat-eye (who could see in the dark), Drem ap Dremhidydd, and Clust ap Clustfeinydd.

One Whitsunday Arthur was visited by Madawg ap Twrgadarn, one of his foresters from the forest of Dean, who told him about an unusually majestic stag in his forest. Arthur decided to hunt it the next day, and told everyone including Gwenhwyfar, his head huntsman Rhyferys and his head groom Elifri.

Early the next morning Arthur was dressed by the four men who guarded his bed (Cadyrieith ap Gandwy, Amhen ap Bedwyr, Goreu ap Custennin, and his own son (!?!) Amhar), and took his court to the hunt, but left Gwenhwyfar to lie in. When she awoke late she set off after him with her handmaiden and met Gereint ap Erbin on the road, similarly abandoned.

At the edge of the forest of Dean they were waiting to hear the sounds of the hunt when they noticed riding by a huge knight, a lady and a dwarf. The maiden went up to the dwarf to ask the name of his master but the dwarf rudely beat her face with his whip, and did the same to Gereint when he asked the same. Being unarmoured, Gereint chose not to fight, but instead to follow the obnoxious trio until he could find armour and settle things properly, while the ladies waited for Arthur.

Gereint followed them past Caer Llion and across the Usk to a walled town that he did not know, where the trio were loudly welcomed, and he saw many weapons being prepared. Outside the town was an old ruined court where he went to spend the night. Inside was a tatty hoary-headed man, an old lady and a maiden, who put him up for the night and explained that the town, Caerdyf, had been built and owned by the old man until his nephew had grown up and in his strength taken not only the lands he had inherited from his father that the old man had kept for himself, but the old man's town and earldom as well.

He also explained that the town was preparing for a tourney of knights (each accompanied by the lady he loved best), and that the prize was a sparrowhawk, and that the winner for three years running was about to be the big rude knight Gereint had followed who would thenceforth be named the Knight of the Sparrowhawk.

The next day Gereint borrowed the old earl Ynywl's armour and his daughter Enid and challenged the big knight, and after a long battle bashed his head in. He spared him on condition he, Edern ap Nudd as he was called, rode as he was to Arthur's court with his lady and dwarf, and apologise to Gwenhwyfar.

The young earl sent chamberlains and food and mead to Ynywl's old ruin, and at Gereint's request gave his uncle back all his old lands. And the next morning Gereint set off for Caer Llion with Enid.

Meanwhile, back in the forest of Dean, Arthur and his dog Cafall had brought down the stag and taken its head, and back at court Gwenhwyfar suggested that the head should not be bestowed until Gereint's return. The next day Edern ap Nudd turned up in a real mess with his lady and dwarf, and after apologising was tended to by Arthur's doctor Morgan Tudd.

The following morning Gereint and Enid arrived, and were married, and Enid was given the stag's head. Lucky girl !

Gereint Moves to Cornwall

Three years later messengers came from Erbin ap Custennin (Arthur's uncle) in Cornwall, explaining that he was becoming old and weak and would Arthur send Erbin's son Gereint back to protect his lands. So Arthur threw a party, and three days later sent Gereint back to his father with Enid, Gwalchmei ap Gwyar, Rhiogonedd son of the king of Ireland, Ondiaw son of the duke of Burgunday, Gwilym son of the ruler of France, Howel ap Emyr Llydaw, Elifri Anaw Cyrdd, Gwyn ap Tringad, Goreu ap Custennin, Gweir Big-breadth, Garannaw ap Golithmer, Peredur ap Efrawg, Gwyn Llogell Gwyr (elder of Arthur's court), Dyfyr ap Alun Dyfed, Gwri Interpreter of Tongues, Bedwyr ap Bedrawd, Cadwri ap Gwrion, Cei ap Cynyr, Odiar the Frank (steward of Arthur's court), and Edern ap Nudd (who had been forgiven by Gwenhwyfar over the dwarf incident).

Upon arrival Erbin threw a party and officially bestowed the earldom upon his son, and after he settled in his companions returned to Arthur, promising to return if ever needed. Gereint soon had the whole dominion under his thumb.

Gereint's Sulk

Having little official business to worry about took to spending most of his time with Enid. Unfortunately after a while rumours spread that he was going soft, and neglecting his friends and duties for his wife, and Erbin mentioned this to Enid. One morning she was musing upon this while he lay sleeping when he awoke, and her half-heard words sent him into a puerile psychopathic sulk that lasts the rest of this story.

Leaving his dad in charge, Gereint set off alone to wander Lloegyr, accompanied only by his wife Enid, who he told to ride ahead and shut up. He deliberately took the most wild and dangrous roads, and soon had to kill four nasty knights and take all their horses and kit, and then another three, whilst inflicting as much emotional abuse on poor, long-suffering Enid as possible. Then he did in another five, still bitching at poor Enid when she tried to warn him, and with Enid leading the twelve horses and kit they continued through the forest.

The Dun Earl

Eventually they found a town and procured lodgings with suits of armour. There they were visited by the local Dun Earl, who fancied Enid and arranged with her to come in the night and take her away. However, that night she got cold feet and warned Gereint, and they both did a moonlight flit. The Dun Earl and his 80 knights caught up with them the following day and Gereint threw the lot onto the hard ground. Then he and Enid carried on as before.

The Little King

Soon they came to the picturesque valley of The Little King (known to the French and English as Gwiffred Petit and to the Welsh as Y Brenhin Bychan) with whom boorish Gereint quickly picked a fight and beat to a pulp, but receiving severe wounds in the process.

Back With Arthur

Then they carried on into a forest and bumped into Arthur's crew on a hunt. Still sulking, Gereint beat up Cei but was tricked by Gwalchmei into seeing Arthur and was ordered to spend a month in the hospital tent while Enid hung out with Gwenhwyfar. Then off he went again, with Enid in front in Coventry as usual.

Earl Limwris

Soon they came across a widow and her dead knight recently slain by three giants, and while Enid comforted the bereaved, Gereint went off and killed the giants, getting savagely bashed in the process. Fortunately earl Limwris chose that moment to turn up and took them back to his hall, but while Gereint was lying nearby in the crusader knight position the earl made the classic mistake of chatting up Enid, and after Limwris gave her a slapping for failing to party Gereint rose up like a bloodied corpse and bisected his cranium.

The Enchanted Games

As Gereint and Enid were making their getaway on a shared horse The Little King turned up, and for once Gereint listened to sense and followed TLK to his brother-in-law's house where he rested for six weeks, before setting off again to join TLK at his own court.

On the way Gereint managed to get all three of them into trouble, this time by deliberately taking the fork in the road leading to the enchanted court of earl Ywein. Over supper the earl generously offered to end his tradition of holding deadly enchanted games, but Gereint was gagging for another confrontation and insisted on entering the games the very next morning.

Alone, Gereint was directed into a place bounded by high hedges decorated with severed heads on stakes (with only two stakes going free) filled with an eerie mist. Within the mist was an orchard containing a silk pavillion, and by it a horn hanging on an apple tree. Within the pavillion a lone maiden in a golden chair warned Gereint not to sit in the only other chair because it annoyed the two-cloaked owner, who promptly turned up and lost the customary brawl to Mr Wondeful. The mist-erious stranger then explained that the games could only be ended by his conqueror blowing the horn, which Gereint did, and the mists vanished.

The Happy Ending

Once the mists had gone everyone was filled with peace and love, Earl Ywein threw a party, The Little King went home, Gereint got over his sulk, and he and Enid went home to Cornwall and lived happily ever after.

Until Camlan.

The End.

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